Through the Hoops

I just rode down to Arizona Water where the nice customer service rep by the name of Pat not only added me to the account without any ID but also faxed the the new bill with my name and address on it to Capital One Financial (a toll free number).

My lungs were burning as I made my way up the hill in the chilly afternoon back to the house, but I could take it because this whole fiasco was behind me. Or so I thought.

When I got home and checked my email, there was one from Capital One:

Dear Andrew Hecht,

Thank you for submitting your fax. However, we are unable to use the
documents sent for verification for the following reason(s):

We are not able to accept a print screen as verification. We would
need to view an actual bill as received in the mail.

In order to verify your physical address, we would need for you to fax
an itemized mortgage statement, gas, water, electric, cable, or
landline phone bill. Please note that the bill must be within 30 days from
today's date and that it verifies the service or property location you
have listed on your application.

With the ways things have been going this morning, it's hard for me to say, I couldn't believe it. I called them. I told them I would not be able to provide them with an actual mailed bill until the next cycle. They came back and said that if I just had Arizona Water fax them a letter on their letterhead stating that I had indeed been added to the account, then that would suffice.

I called Pat back and told her what the deal was. She said no problem, she would handle it. Now I just have to wait for Capital One to get back to me. I'm expecting them to tell me that it won't suffice, at which point I'm heading on a plane to Wilmington, DE or wherever the fuck the are and I'm going to personally strangle the CEO. Maybe that will grant him some simulacrum of how I'm feeling at the moment, though I doubt it.