About a week ago, I heard a news story on Radio Polynesia about a "new" ferry making the trip from the Savai'i to Upolu. The boat, called "Lady Ursula" supposedly had a departure from Savai'i at 4:30pm. This was great news because previously the last boat left the Big Island at 2pm which meant if you were staying in Manase on the top end of Savai'i, you'd have to be on the bus at 10am to make it to the wharf in Salelologa in time to make the ferry. Kinda ruined the day.

I went down to the tourist office in Apia, but they hadn't heard anything about the new boat. They called around and got a number for me, but when I called I couldn't get any information. I didn't have any more luck at Mulifanua wharf on Upolu. Oh, well, it looked like we were just going to have take there 2 o'clock back because we couldn't risk getting stuck in Salelologa.

Oddly enough, it turned out not to matter as we got a lift to the wharf early in the morning on Friday. However we managed to miss the "slow boat" Lady Samoa II by a few minutes and were forced to buy tickets on the new "even slower" boat, the aforementioned Lady Ursula.

If only I knew then what I know now, I never would have stepped foot on that bucket. The ferry ride was one of the worst I've ever been on. Even seeing a school of dolphins swimming alongside us didn't even come cluse to make up for the maritime nightmare.

I'm not prone to getting seasick. I've only "chummed" once before at sea. That was on an incredibly rough ride between Haifa and Cyprus. Everyone was spewing their guts out. It was disgusting. I fought it as long as I could, but some time in the middle of the night, with my stomach doing convlusions, I thought it best to finally give in. I felt much better afterward, but it wasn't any fun during.

Cut to the present moment.

I probably shouldn't have eaten half a block of New Zealand cheddar cheese ("suitable for the all the family's needs") right as we left the harbor. I didn't throw up, but only because I fought it the whole miserable trip.

The boat was going so slowly (the trip ran well over 2 hours) that there was barely enough breeze to blow away the exhaust. The combination of the fumes and the little, top-heavy boat, doing figure-eights in the high seas would test the hardiest of stomachs.

Every few minutes, the boat would shutter and then shake violently. Add in a large quantity of cheddar cheese ("suitable for the all the family's needs") and you've got a recipe for disaster. I stared at the horizon line and tried not to think about up-chucking.

When the dolphins came, I couldn't even take a picture, because as soon as I looked away from the line of the sky meeting the sea, my stomach would start doing flips like Olga Korbut.

I was so happy to get off that damn boat with the contents of my stomach in situ. It's going to be a long time before I go back to Savai'i.