I just rode down to Arizona Water where the nice customer service rep by the name of Pat not only added me to the account without any ID but also faxed the the new bill with my name and address on it to Capital One Financial (a toll free number).

My lungs were burning as I made my way up the hill in the chilly afternoon back to the house, but I could take it because this whole fiasco was behind me. Or so I thought.

When I got home and checked my email, there was one from Capital One:

Dear Andrew Hecht,

Thank you for submitting your fax. However, we are unable to use the
documents sent for verification for the following reason(s):

We are not able to accept a print screen as verification. We would
need to view an actual bill as received in the mail.

In order to verify your physical address, we would need for you to fax
an itemized mortgage statement, gas, water, electric, cable, or
landline phone bill. Please note that the bill must be within 30 days from
today's date and that it verifies the service or property location you
have listed on your application.