If you want to see a really crappy film, go rent King Arthur. I stayed away when it was out in theaters, but curiosity got the best of me, I Netflix'd it and I really wish I hadn't. If you're at all a fan of the Arthurian legend, you're going to hate this take where Arthur is nothing more than a pawn of the Roman government of Britain. Who's knows if there's any veracity to it, but who cares? Why take a great legend and spoil it with historical accuracy when the new story is so mundane?

Here's the basic storyline. Arthur is the leader of a group of horseman conscripted by the Romans as youths from their province where Eastern Europe is now and taken to Britain to keep the peace against the Saxons on the north side of Hadrian's Wall. On the eve of their freedom, a bishop from Rome commands that they take on one last mission, to save a Roman family behind enemy lines. Of course, there are subplots and a few twists and turns including Arthur rescuing Guinevere from a Christian torture chamber. Some of the fighting scenes are spectacular, but shit, the movie as a whole is a piece of excrement.