One ......... cut a hole in the box
Two ......... put your junk in that booxxxx!!!
Three ....... make her open that box
And that's the way you do it
IT"S MY DICK IN BOX!!!!

I know this video of the SNL Short has been going around the Internet like a prairie fire, but I hadn't seen it until last night when i watched SNL on my DVR. SNL has been complete crap lately. Very few funny skits. No recurring skits. Lame openings. So this bit is huge a surprise. It's just stupid funny. I nearly shit myself laughing when the short came on. It's mock video as a paean to some of those horrible R&B love songs filled with the dirtiest lyrics, (think R Kelly or Color Me Bad and you have some idea of what I'm talking about it).

So if you need a holiday pick me up, watch the video.

Now, where did I put that box? Ah, yes....

The full lyrics are under the fold

Hey girl..I got something really important to give you So just sit down and listen...

Girl I know that we been together, such a long long time
(Such a long time!)
And now I'm ready to lay it on the line!
Weelll, you know its Christmas,
And my heart is open wide! (open wide)
Gonna give you something so you know what is on my mind!
(what is on my mind)
A gift real special, so take off the tie

So look inside....it's my dick in the box! (dick in the box!)

Not gonna give you a diamond ring
Thats the only gift that don't mean a thing
Not gonna get you a fancy car
Girl you gotta know your my shining star
Not gonna get you a house in the hills
A girl like you needs something real!
Wanna get you something from my heart
(Something special girl!)
It's my dick in the box!

A dick in the box, girrrrl..
It's my dick in the box!
Oooooh my dick in the box, girrrl..

See, I'm wise enough to know when a gift needs giving (Girl!)
And I got just the one!
Something to show you that you are second to none!

To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress
It's easy to do, just follow these steps..

One ......... cut a hole in the box
Two ......... put your junk in that booxxxx!!!
Three ....... make her open that box
And that's the way you do it
IT'S MY DICK IN BOX!!!!

My dick in the box, bay-by!
It's my dick in the box!
Whoooooo My dick in the box, girrl

Christmas...dick in the box!
Hannakah...dick in the boooox!
Kawanza...a DICK in the box!
Every single holiday a dick in the box!

Over at your parents house, a dick in the box!
Mid-day at the grocery store, a dick in the box!
Backstage at the CMA's, a dick the boooox!!
Well, well, well, weeeeeeelll!
A DICK in the box!