I'm Confused Archive

I was talking about this with some friends a few days ago. Seems insane. Notably this part:

"We called it 'Bambi...it was a baby," she said.

"There were many children in the area and the officers make a decision that the deer was a public safety issue," said Holly Joshi from the Oakland Police Department.

So, the Oakland police officers decided to kill it. It took seven shots with a .40 caliber Glock to bring down the small deer.Police say they safely evacuated the area before shooting the deer, but Anthony Weems, who took the amateur video, says the shots scared the whole neighborhood.

Maybe this is me talking crazy, but couldn't have just left the fucking deer alone?

Just got this in my inbox:

Dear Andrew,

My name is Justin and I'm a recruiter at Axelon Services Corporation, formerly known as Algomod Technologies Corporation. Our records show that you are a professional with attnetion(sic) to detail. This experience is relevant to one of my current openings.

It is located in Vallejo, CA.

Computer Technician
Vallejo, CA
3 Months

Pay rate is $10/hr

Candidate must have own vehicle

I love this for so many reasons. I don't how anyone looking at my resume would think for a second that I would be interested in a temporary job that paid 10 bucks an hour. Unemployment pays almost that. I could make that at the local Starbucks. I haven't had a job that paid that low since I worked for Ted Turner. But the best part is that this recruiter managed to spell "attention" wrong in a sentence about "attention to detail". How classic is that?

Last night, just before 10pm, I got a call from a unlisted number, which often means a Fil sighting. I anxiously answered the phone. Have you found your kitty, the man asked. Sadly no, I said. Well, then can you take down your flyers. It's been three weeks, you owe it to the neighborhood, he said. What? I was stunned. I said I would take them down when I was ready, but I would not take them down now. He hung up.

What an asshole.

I mean, it's not like I live in Piedmont or North Berkeley. My neighborhood is the fucking ghetto where people leave old mattresses on corners and dump crap wherever they feel like. It's full of homeless wanderers dragging shopping cart trains (multiple cart tied together), people walking their pit bulls, cars on front lawns. Having flyers up on the stop signs isn't exactly going to bring the neighborhood down. It's already down. What a heartless asshole.

I the ride last weekend in Marin, I stopped and took some pictures of a on the side of the road near the bridge on Pt. Reyes Petaluma Rd. I passed the raccoon and turned around to take pictures.

The poor guy had his head crushed, probably by a passing car. Road kill is a fact of life out on the roads we travel and there is a never ending stream of coons, squirrels, deer and other small rodentia flatened on the backroads of Northern California. When you cycle along the edge of these roads, you're going to come across more than your average share of road kill. That's just the way it is.

My fascination with all things cycling and all things photography have a macabre junction in the pics of the road kill. I can't help myself. If it's interesting, I'm going to take a picture of it. And road kill is interesting, mostly. And this freshly killed raccoon, with the exception of the coagulated blood around it's mouth, was beautiful. So I shot it. A few times. Then, as always, I uploaded the photos to Flickr and forwarded them to my club and didn't think any more of it.

Normally, I don't get any responses, but the raccoon touched a chord and quickly I got back responses from the sublime to the absurd, starting with the absurd.

I don't know about anybody else, but I for one am totally disgusted and offended by you showing us "road kill" up close and personal! Spare me in the future, please!

This is from an adult, not a 6 year old, but you'd never know that.

I turned off the slideshow at the Raccoon shots. Editing is an art.

This one actually offended me. Blasting my editing skills? I edit for myself and share because I'm asked. Why would I edit out a photo of my photoset that I actually stopped and turned around to take? I wouldn't. The fact that it never even dawned on that adults would have a problem with is not my problem. It's their problem. We're not in fucking nursery school anymore, are we?

It's not that I'm insensitive to people's feelings, but we're talking about my photos. If you don't like them, move on. Don't insult me or pretend to be offended. If you're so easily offended, stay at home. I didn't kill the raccoon. It was there on the road, to be seen by any and all passersby.

Then there were more like this, which are just plain stupid:

With the exception of the photos of the dead racoon, I'd say this was a great group of pics....

and:

I should stay out of this one, but to me the cows are way uglier than the raccoon.

and funny:

I didn't see that during the ride. I'll assume the tandem pair of Reese and Myra mowed that down at 49/mph when they were attacking the rollers on the way to the Cheese Factory.

and finally uber-supportive:

You kidding? The racoon carnage was the first thing I looked at. And I've yet to even look at all the rest.

Hi Andrew I thought I would just e-mail you directly, as there are already more than enough club comments re: the raccoon photos. I personally was interested to see the photos...it's not all that often you have the chance to see a wild animal that is not trying to run away from you, or that has already been flattened by a car.  I always appreciate being able to see their shape, colors, etc. up close!

P.S. Did you see the deer skeleton just past the Cheese Factory? Same thing- I would have liked to stop and admire it, but I know the people I was riding with would think that was too weird.

Good to know that they are some sensible people around. Again, it's just a photo.

If the Olympics had any integrity, they wouldn't allow companies like McDonald's, Coca-Cola and Budweiser to sponsor the games. Does anyone think that any of the athletes would put that crap in their bodies?

Life must be tough at the World's New Leader^TM because CNN is selling shirts. Why anyone would want to buy this, is beyond me, but you can fuck with the URL and ''make'' your own shirts:

It's disconcerting when your preconceived notions of a person don't come close to meeting with reality. It fucks with your world view. I'm a huge fan of Douglas Coupland. I have been since I read Generation X back in college. Since then I've several of his books including Shampoo Planet and Microserfs. When I saw that Coupland was speaking in one of the sessions I had to go even though it conflicted with the first keynote of SXSW.

Coupland was there to promote the opening of his first movie, Everything's Gone Green. I expected him to talk some about the movie and the process of screenplay writing, and he did that. But most of what he did was babble in a nonsensical stream of consciousness mess making me wish someone had spiked his tea with acid and that this wasn't the real Douglas Coupland.

His talk was full of pregnant pauses, self-reflexive admonitions to himself, nonsequitors and pointless rambling anecdotes. I honestly felt sorry for the guy. I was desparate to get up and leave, but I was sitting in the first row of the room and I didn't want to embarass his, so I just sufferred in total silence while I wathced Coupland implode on the stage.

Iran opens Holocaust conference

By Associated Press Monday, December 11, 2006 - Updated: 09:12 AM EST

TEHRAN, Iran - Iran on Monday opened a conference that it said would examine whether the Holocaust took place, claiming the meeting was an opportunity to discuss the World War II genocide in an atmosphere free of what it termed Western taboos.

The conference was initiated by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who has described the Holocaust as a "myth" and called for Israel to be wiped off the map. Even before it opened, the gathering was condemned by Germany, the United States and Israel.

The organizers, the Foreign Ministry's Institute for Political and International Studies (IPIS), say the two-day conference has drawn 67 foreign researchers from 30 countries.

In his opening speech, the institute's chief, Rasoul Mousavi, said the conference provided an opportunity to discuss "questions" about the Holocaust away from Western taboos and the restrictions imposed on scholars in Europe.In Germany, Austria and France, it is illegal to deny the Holocaust.

"This conference seeks neither to deny nor prove the Holocaust," Mousavi said. "It is just to provide an appropriate scientific atmosphere for scholars to offer their opinions in freedom about a historical issue."

Iranian Foreign Minister Manouchehr Mottaki dismissed the foreign criticism as "predictable," telling conference delegates in a speech that there was "no logical reason for opposing this conference."

"The objective for organizing this conference is to create an atmosphere to raise various opinions about a historical issue. We are not seeking to deny or prove the Holocaust," Mottaki said.

"If the official version of the Holocaust is thrown into doubt, then the identity and nature of Israel will be thrown into doubt. And if, during this review, it is proved that the Holocaust was a historical reality, then what is the reason for the Muslim people of the region and the Palestinians having to pay the cost of the Nazis’ crimes?" Mottaki said.

In Israel, the official Holocaust memorial, Yad Vashem, issued a statement condemning the Tehran conference as an attempt to "paint (an) extremist agenda with a scholarly brush."

"The Iranian governments pseudo-academic conference, 'Review of the Holocaust: Global Vision,' is an effort to mainstream Holocaust denial and must be unequivocally rejected," Yad Vashem said Monday.

The leading Israeli novelist and peace activist, Amos Oz, denounced the meeting.

"I think the conference in Iran is a sick joke, and I hope it will be received with revulsion and disgust everywhere in the world," Oz said.

Among the participants were the prominent French holocaust-denier, Robert Faurisson, and six members of the group Jews United Against Zionism, who were dressed in the traditional long black coats and black hats of orthodox Jews.

The Jews, two of whom said they were rabbis, came from the United States, Britain and Austria.

The conference was expected to receive a message from President Ahmadinejad, who has said that the killing of six million Jews by the Nazi German regime during World War II was a "myth" and "exaggerated."

The president has repeatedly questioned why the Holocaust has been used to justify the creation of Israel at the cost of Palestinian lands - a view popular among Iranian hard-liners.

Iran has spent months preparing for the conference, even publicizing it during the September visit to Tehran of U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, who contradicted his hosts by saying the Holocaust was a historical fact and that an exhibition of anti-Holocaust cartoons, then on display in the city, promoted hatred.

I, like the rest of world, eagerly await the report from what is sure to a be a very thorough and scientific survey. No doubt, the Iranians and their guests will be Fair & Balanced.

*My grandfather was the only member of his family to survive Ahmadinejad's myth

I don't know how this is possible since everyone here is in decent shape, many in really good shape and none whatsoever obese, but it seems that Swiss (and the British as well now that I think about it) subsist on a diet of sausage, beer and ice cream. How is that possible?

Has anyone else seen these billboards? What's the story? Is this some kind of viral/guerilla marketing or the work of some end times whackjob?

UPDATE: looks like it might be a promotion for a movie.

I just received this odd email:

Hai ,
I have the feeling that this piece of mail will reach you in a perfect state of mind and in a better healthy codition. While searching through the members.yahoo.com I came accross your contact address and decided to contact you. I believe and also have the feeling that in todays world, neither race,age,nationality nor religion will any longer posse a barrier to male/female relationships.

Although, we do not know each other well but I will really like to have you as a friend or pen pal if that is better for you.I am a single lady of 25years old, currently studing international relations at the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA), a citizen of the United States of America residing in Los Angeles with my parents, brothers and sisters. Presently, I am doing my final year in the University and so anxious to graduate from the University into the free world. While I hope to hear from you soon,

I also look forward to receiving some information concerning you, your family, country and even your personal life experiences. This will give us the opportunity of knowing each other better and be able to understand ourselves more. May God bless you as I wait to hear from you soon through this email address. xxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com
Thanks.

Yours,
xxxxxxxxxx

What the hell is this? Is she serious or is some lead in to a scam that i haven't heard about? How can she look forward to hearing about my country when my profile clearly says I live in Alameda, CA? I thought for a second that maybe it still said Samoa, but I guess I changed that a while back and I need to update it again. But there's also a picture of me. I would send her a link to this blog, but not after writing this post. I don't know. It just seems odd. I don't get that many requests to be a pen pal. I thought that whole idea was dead. Then there's some unusual misspellings for a UCLA senior, some really poor punctuation and some seriously archaic turns of phrase. I don't know. Maybe this is just standards email English, but it feels wierd for some reason. Anybody?

This stupid (or maybe stoopid, in this case):

Yesterday I was having lunch with two women from the web conference, one from Florida and and the other from Buenos Aires. So we're sitting in the restaurant and the girl from Buenos Aires was explaining to the girl from Florida that she is from Argentina. And the girl from Florida's response? "Do you live in houses there?"

Do you live in houses there? Are you shiitng me? My Sobe nearly erupted out my nose.

Think for a second about what it takes for someone to ask a question as inane as that:

1) Clearly she had never heard of Argentina before. To me this is simply remarkable and hard to fathom, yet it's clearly the case. I'm trying to imagine a scenario where anyone mentions any country in the world to me and I'm hearing it for the first time, but that's just me, I'm a traveling geography freak. But come on, Argentina? Who the fuck hasn't heard of Argentina?

2) She had think that there are countries in the world where people do not live in houses. Every country I've been has had houses. You? I suspect a similar experience.

3) She had to think that it was possible that the girl from Argentina, who flew all the way to San Francsico for a fricking web design conference, did not live in a house. Where the fuck did she think that she lived? In a cave? Shit.

At this moment I very much wished that I had been Argentina, but I haven't (something I hope to rectify in the next few years). Fortunately I do know quite a bit about the country and was able to save some face for us pathetic ignorant Americans.

If they can put a drop in your eye to dialate your pupil, why can't they put another drop in to constrict it when they're done poking around in there?

It all started innocently enough, as these things often do. I woke up on my birthday, checked my email and came across this one from Wells Fargo:

Bank Online: It's Easy, Secure & It Pays Get $20 for Accessing Your Accounts Online* Banking online helps you control your finances more easily: NEW! Choose to receive FREE email alerts about account activity See updates of withdrawals, deposits, balances, and more Transfer money between accounts Pay your bills using Online Bill Pay1 It's easy to get started – and to get your $20 just for using your Online Banking to access your Wells Fargo accounts online – in one place, with one password: 1. Go to www.wellsfargo.com 2. Sign on to Wells Fargo Online® Banking by entering your     Username and Password under View Your Accounts 3. Do this three times from August 1, 2005 through September 30,     2005, and we'll credit $20 to your primary deposit account Plus, we guarantee that you will be covered 100% for any funds removed from your Wells Fargo accounts without your approval, while using our Online Banking service2. To get your $20, simply use Wells Fargo Online Banking to access your account three times by Sept. 30, 2005. Get started or call 1-800-956-4442. We're available 24/7.

I hadn't checked my Wells Fargo account in a long time. Maybe that's why they were prodding me back into it. I don't know. Who cares, right? It doesn't take much effort to log into the site three times in a month and if they thought it was worth $20 to do so, I wasn't going to complain.

Iraqi students denounce 'Zionist plot' to extend weekend

Personally, I wish there was a Zionist plot to make a Monday part of the weekend. (Thanks to my brother Brian for pointing out this article.)

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I could have sworn it was Thursday. I was so fooled, I didn't even dress casually for the office. It's amazing how fast the week goes by when you're looking forward to skiing on the weekend. I've paid for one day at Kirwood, so I'll be there on Saturday. Then back to Heavenly on Sunday. I'm taking my new camera so I promise lots of pictures.

By "this", I mean this.

Evil has a new name, and that name is SpongeBob. That is, of course, only if you take seriously anything radical cleric James Dobson has to say. If you think he's a loco wingnut, as I do, then you can laugh with me as he gathers his followers in the fight to defend the nation's kids again SpongeBob. Remember, just because he's tidy and optimistic, doesn't make him gay, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Here's the whole article as reported by the New York Times.

Conservatives Pick Soft Target: A Cartoon Sponge
By DAVID D. KIRKPATRICK

Published: January 20, 2005

WASHINGTON, Jan. 19 - On the heels of electoral victories barring same-sex marriage, some influential conservative Christian groups are turning their attention to a new target: the cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants.

"Does anybody here know SpongeBob?" Dr. James C. Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, asked the guests Tuesday night at a black-tie dinner for members of Congress and political allies to celebrate the election results.

SpongeBob needed no introduction. In addition to his popularity among children, who watch his cartoon show, he has become a well-known camp figure among adult gay men, perhaps because he holds hands with his animated sidekick Patrick and likes to watch the imaginary television show "The Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy."

Now, Dr. Dobson said, SpongeBob's creators had enlisted him in a "pro-homosexual video," in which he appeared alongside children's television colleagues like Barney and Jimmy Neutron, among many others. The makers of the video, he said, planned to mail it to thousands of elementary schools to promote a "tolerance pledge" that includes tolerance for differences of "sexual identity."

The video's creator, Nile Rodgers, who wrote the disco hit "We Are Family," said Mr. Dobson's objection stemmed from a misunderstanding. Mr. Rodgers said he founded the We Are Family Foundation after the Sept. 11 attacks to create a music video to teach children about multiculturalism. The video has appeared on television networks, and nothing in it or its accompanying materials refers to sexual identity. The pledge, borrowed from the Southern Poverty Law Center, is not mentioned on the video and is available only on the group's Web site.

Mr. Rodgers suggested that Dr. Dobson and the American Family Association, the conservative Christian group that first sounded the alarm, might have been confused because of an unrelated Web site belonging to another group called "We Are Family," which supports gay youth.

"The fact that some people may be upset with each other peoples' lifestyles, that is O.K.," Mr. Rodgers said. "We are just talking about respect."

Mark Barondess, the foundation's lawyer, said the critics "need medication."

On Wednesday however, Paul Batura, assistant to Mr. Dobson at Focus on the Family, said the group stood by its accusation.

"We see the video as an insidious means by which the organization is manipulating and potentially brainwashing kids," he said. "It is a classic bait and switch."

These people will find anything to complain about.

SAVE MERRY CHRISTMAS!

For my part, I will be shopping at Macy's as much as possible.

I'm an atheist so maybe you can understand why I can't justify the "conservative" position on abortion, stem cell research and the death penalty. Presumably they all come from the 6th Commandment, Thou Shall Not Kill. I get that. And if there was a consistent position, I could at least disagree respectfully. But how can you, on the one hand, be pro-life and say abortion is murder, and be against stem cell research and say killing embryos is murder, and yet be for the death penalty?

On the other hand one can easily see how the argument could be made against the death penalty (it doesn't work) or for stem cell research (if an embryo is life then all the people who use fertility clinics are murders) or for abortion.

My argument for abortion is based on rational thinking which goes like this. Whether you are for abortion or against it, you have agree that legislating against will not decrease the demand. Instead it will criminalize women and doctors and put the health of poor women at stake because they can't fly off to Europe or Canada or anywhere else where abortion is legal. That's why it continues to be and should always be legal.

What would you do if you were me?

Ok. So I'm on the cusp of making a major life decision here. The Peace Corps is done (at least for the moment) and I have a lot of options for my future, which is great. I don't have any debt, I have very few liabilities, except my kittens (despite the fact that they think they are an asset), and I have an incredible amount of freedom.

Here the are the basic options:

1) Travel
2) Go back to school
3) Go back to work
4) Do nothing

Each of these options is attractive in a number of ways. Well, except number 3. I
don't really want to go back to work. Let's discuss.

Number 1 is the most appealing. Of course. Courtesy of the Peace Corps, I have 1132 dollars to use to buy a flight anywhere United or their myriad partners flies. I'm not not going to use this. The only question is where and for how long. Originally I had planned to fly to northern Brazil and work my way down the coast through Uruguay and eventually return home via Buenos Aires. But now I'm leaning towards India. Then there's the length of time. I'd like to go for more than 6 months, but I have my kittens to think of. I believe I will be disowned if I leave my little charges in the hands of their surrogate mom for any longer than 3 months. If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

Number 2 is also very interesting to me now. I've always planned on returning to university to work on a Masters degree. The problem now is where to go and what to study. I don't want to get into huge debt, so I'll probably stay in California where I have "residence" and go to a public school which is the most affordable despite spiraling fees and an absurd cost of living. My heart is telling me to go with my passion and study photojournalism. My head is telling me not to be an ass and get an MBA so I can get a job when I graduate. I'm torn. I want to decide soon because I don't want to take both the GRE and the GMAT. One of those insufferable tests is enough for one lifetime. I made almost nothing this year while I was in the Peace Corps, so I will be at the top of the list if I apply for financial aid, a huge benefit of Peace Corps service, to be sure.

Like I said, number 3 is the least attractive option. I'd like to never work another day in my life. If I chose number 3, I think I could make it another 2 years without having to set foot in an office or take orders from some self-important jackass, which I'm assiduously trying to avoid. On the other hand, I could go into business for myself, which is immeasurably more appealing. Here are the options:

Start an import business and bring in crafts from Southeast Asia. This is something I've flirted with for years. It will probably never make me rich, but it will satisfy my wanderlust and my need to be productive. I've always concerned about the viability of such businesses during a downturn in the economy. Can someone explain the Bombay Company to me?

Start my real estate empire. I have some money for a down payment, If I can just decide where I want to live, I can actually buy a place. Of course, this will dictate that I get a job to service the mortgage, but I can deal with it, as long as I'm building equity, which is always fun.

Teach English abroad. Yes. Teach English abroad. I could make myself very useful and go teach my native language in another country. Again, this brings up more questions. Do I want to do it for the experience or to make money? Making money will lead me to Japan, Taiwan or Korea, while and interesting experience would send me off to Cambodia or Eastern Europe. Tough decision. Japan is the frontrunner at the moment.

Take an actual job in a real place. Despite appearances, I actually do have some marketable skills and worked in a few impressive places (CNN, for example) that look really good on a resume to prospective employers who don't know any better. I could take a job in DC or NYC, settle down to a middle class, materialism-driven life and do what everybody else is doing. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I could write. I know I have a few books in me. There's at least one cookbook, one children's book and several travel books. I have published a few travel articles and I have considered making that a full time career but haven't been willing to make the plunge like some of my more courageous friends. I feel like I need more seasoning, however, the more I travel and the more I write, the better I feel about my skills and my chances of success if I make a go of it.

Doing nothing is essentially what I'm doing now. And I must tell you, I'm enjoying it plenty. It's been easy for me to do nothing both because of inertia and because of my sister's wedding, which made it hard for me to make a decision that would necessitate me being away from San Francisco where the ceremony was taking place. There's a 99% chance that I'm departing for India some time in the next 6 weeks so that will put the decision off even further, which is fine by me. I know I can't do nothing forever, but I can enjoy it while it lasts.

So that's it. These are the choices, at least the ones that I can see with my socio-economic, Judeo-Christian blinders on. Any insights anyone out there has would be really interesting for me to hear.

thanks,

Andrew

*If you don't get this reference, you don't watch enough TV

Yesterday I looked in my box to get my mail (we get mail on Tuesday and Thursday) and there was something horrible inside: a letter stamped, "Return to Sender - Moved Not Forwardable". It was addressed to Anita Torres.

Anita is a old friend of mine. She was a fellow student in the Classics department at UC - Santa Cruz. She graduated and went off to the University of Chicago to get her PHD. I went to Atlanta. That was in 1996. We lost track of each for years.

Then, out of the blue, I get an email from her in January. You know those emails. "Hey, just checking to see if this is you". blah, blah, blah. I wrote back several times, but never got a response.

Then in April a package arrived, postmarked Brooklyn, NY from Anita. It was a Christmas present, books, and Andy Warhol calendar, a cute card with a googly eyed Santa.

I wanted to email her to thank her for the gift, but this was during my fiasco with Yahoo. I might have been able to send her an email from another account, but I needed to get access my account to get her address. Fuck.

When I finally got back into my account in May, I emailed Anita straight away and got one of those "mailer-daemon" responses. Apparently, the account had been closed.

I remembered the box with the return address in Brooklyn. I printed out a few emails, wrote a long letter and stuff it in the mail with 3 tala 90 worth of stamps. That was the 17th of June. After what I can only think must have a pleasant stay in the States, the epistle returned yesterday.

What to do? What to do?

Last night I scoured the Internet for her name and any mention of the University of Chicago. I found a page for some Classics conference with her name and email (also, doesn't work) and the emails of several of her colleagues. I wrote them all explaining what was going on. I got an email back from one of them, Laura Slatkin, who, incidentally, also went to UC-Santa Cruz, although we didn't know each other (I don't think). She gave me Anita's email address, which turns out to the be the one that Anita used to email in the first place that no longer works. Damn.

So I'm at an impasse. I suppose she can easily find me since my email hasn't changed in years. However I think she might be angry at for not thanking her for the Christmas gift. She has no way of knowing it would take 4 months to get here and I had no way to thank her. It's just a theory anyway.

I don't know what to do or where to look. I'd really like to find her. Any suggestions?