01 February 2005religion
Are You Ready For Some Rapture? or The Rapture Is Coming So Why Should I Bother To Make The Bed?

You might not be, but the folks at Rapture Ready certainly are ready. According to their calculations using "the prophetic speedometer of end-time activity", we're well above the 145 level which is "fasten your seat belts" territory. Jesus is gonna come a-knocking any day now.

So, the end times a-cometh. I look at this as a positive. If the rapture is going to get rid of the kind of sanctimonious ass holes that put together sites like these and, not incidentally, put George Bush back in the White House, how can I not give it my blessing? Let them rot together in heaven. I feel "blessed" to consider myself among the unsaved.

I absolutely love the FAQ where you can find answers to such burning questions as: Are angels real? Angels are absolutely real (fuckin' A). Is the pope the antichrist? Nope. The antichrist will be a Jew (those Jews!). Is the devil working overtime? You bet your sweet tuchus he is. Should a woman work outside the home? Good god NO.

This whole thing wouldn't bother me so much except people like Todd Strandberg (the author of this crap) perpetuate the anti-semitism that it inherent in the new testament. I've discussed this evangelical christian obsession with murdering Jews before. The big problem is there is a serious disconnect between reality and what is written in the bible. Most honest people know that the bible is a book made up largely of parables, but also includes myths that form the central core of the religion, the sine qua non, if you will. Jesus died for your sins. The virgin birth. Loafs. Fishes. Wine. Water. The Resurrection. You get the point. Where would Christianity be without these things? If Jesus is just a wise (Jewish) man looking out for the poor, where does that leave the religion? The apostles had to construct a grandiose mythology around Jesus to make him palatable to converts. The fact the new testament is built around a framework of historical fact, real people (e.g. Pontius Pilate, Caesar, Jesus) and real places (e.g., Sea of Galilee, Bethlehem, Jerusalem, etc.) makes it all too easy for delusional Christians to take the entire book literally.

As for the Book of Revelation on which Rapture Ready is built, I look at it as the ultimate boogeyman. It's the evangelical equivalent to "don't masturbate or your palms with grow hair". Better get your spiritual check book in balance or you'll be left behind with the rest of the world's sinners. It's complete and utter excrement.


Posted by andrew at 11:12 AM | Comment (0) TrackBack (0)

01 February 2005news
Just When You Thought Beer Couldn't Possibly Be More Useful

Man peed way out of avalanche

need I say more?

Thanks to Jen for this tidbit.



Posted by andrew at 10:05 AM | Comment (0) TrackBack (0)

31 January 2005housing situation
Resolution to Your Concerns

Last week, before my kitten was sealed in the walls by either an unconscious, incompentent or malicious plumber, I filled out a survey on the website of the corporation that owns my apartment complex detailing the bullshit that I've had to put up with since I arrived at the Ballena Village Apartments (Where Coming Home Is The Best Part Of Your Day). On Sunday, of all days, I got an email back from Veronica Dickerson, Regional Portfolio Manager (what the fuck is that?), empathizing about my less than positive experience and wanting to know what she could do to make it better. I'm dying to hearing her response when I tell her that my cat was entombed by the maintencance crew. She'll have to be faily creative to "provide resolution to [my] concerns." She can start by making sure the fucking plumbers stay the fuck away from my cats. Then she can finish by giving me a free month's rent.

Here's the letter.

Dear Mr. Hecht, Thank you for taking the time to complete our on-line resident survey. Customer satisfaction is our number one priority here at Sequoia Equities and we rely on feedback from our residents to help us achieve excellence in customer service. I apologize that you have not had a positive experience and I would like to speak with you to provide resolution to your concerns. I left a message for you and I look forward to speaking with you. Please feel free to contact me at (925) 945-0900 at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,

Veronica Dickerson
Regional Portfolio Manager
Sequoia Equities
(925) 945-0900
vdickerson@sequoiaequities.com


Posted by andrew at 08:04 PM | Comment (0) TrackBack (0)

31 January 2005tech stuff
Pills, Porn & Casinos

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