National Blonde Day is sponsored by the Blonde Legal Defense Club whose mission it is "to stop the widespread belief that blondes are dumb and incapable." Now, who would think something horrible like that? The mission continues to say that are committed "to make sure hair color isn't a factor in work or social environments." If that isn't a noble cause, I don't know what is.

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.

To celebrate the event, the hair-care experts at Vidal Sassoon salons across North America will be giving free "Flash of Blonde" hair color treatments. Also, in keeping with this year's NBD theme ("Makeover America"), Sephora will be doing makeovers with stila cosmetics' Legally Blonde 2-inspired color palettes, and O.P.I. will offer manicures with their Legally Blonde 2-inspired polishes. People are going to look completely fabulous!

No doubt.

Despite appearances to the contrary, this is completely serious (well, at least he part about the makeovers, anyway. This isn't really serious.). Why National Blonde Day hasn't taken off in Samoa is a complete mystery to me.

For a bit of fun, head on over to to #1 Blonde Jokes

Posted by andrew at 04:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

What is going on over in Germany? This would be an interesting story if this was an isolated incident, but Reuters reports that:

Germany often reports cases of people lying dead in their homes for months or years before discovery, a phenomenon sociologists attribute to mounting social isolation and the disintegration of the family.

Often? How often is often? Germany must smell pretty damn bad these days if, often, corpses are lying dead for years before discovery. I know what this says about German social structure, but more importantly, perhaps, what does it say about German olfactory senses?

Amazingly, authorities have found and arrested a suspect in this murder. Say what you want about Germans, they are a damn efficient lot.

Man Lies Dead in Bed for Nearly Three Years
Mon Jun 30, 8:54 AM ET

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German man lay dead in his bed for almost three years before being found, police said Friday.

A post mortem revealed the man, in his 50s, had suffered serious head injuries, suggesting murder.

"We're assuming he was murdered in September 2000," said Christiane Leven, police spokeswoman in the northern city of Hamburg. Police have arrested a 30-year-old careworker who used to look after the wheelchair-bound man.

Police discovered the remains of the corpse Thursday after breaking into the man's apartment when neighbors complained of a strange smell.

Germany often reports cases of people lying dead in their homes for months or years before discovery, a phenomenon sociologists attribute to mounting social isolation and the disintegration of the family.

The efficient banking system also means people's bills and pensions can continue to be paid long after they die.

Posted by andrew at 12:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Yesterday I was looking at the Geek Philoshper blog. I was admiring some of their clean fonts. I sent them an email to see if I could find out their names.

This morning I got a message back from Barbie who was sweet enough to email me her fonts and include my blog in her database. But she, like many people out there in the world, was a little confused about where I am:

What a surprise hearing from you. Since your blog is from Somolia, it really stood out. We added a Somolia rollover to our world map - hopefully it's approximately in the correct place.

It's funny how many people make this mistake, including people who get their Peace Corps assignments and think they are headed to Africa, as if we'd sent volunteers to Mogadishu at the moment.

It's a good think Samoa is so laid-back, otherwise the country might develop a complex.

Posted by andrew at 11:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My brother sent me this picture today. Have a look at it and tell me what, if anything, you see in there.

Now read the caption from Yahoo:

Tens of thousands of people have come over the last several days to view this image in a hospital window that many believe resembles the Virgin Mary at Milton Hospital in Milton, Massachusetts, in the United States. Faced with a rush of pilgrims, the hospital said on Thursday it will cover the shimmering image to avoid further disruption.

I love that Mary is popping in odd places like suburban shopping malls like a fucking a ufo, but seriously, what the fuck is wrong with these people?

And this is not just a handful of people. This is Tens of thousands of people.So many that they are disrupting the operation of this hosptial.

Where are these people coming from? Are they that depsparate for something even this small to grasp onto to bolster their faith? I don't understand it. Perhaps someone can explain it to me. Then again, there are a lot of things I don't understand.

And why is it alway Mary who appears? Perhaps it's someone else. Maybe it's Jane Russell. I'd be more willing to believe that.

Posted by andrew at 10:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I did something on Saturday that I don't think I've ever done before in my life. I watched a movie three times, back-to-back-to-back. And this was after watching it for the first time the night before. This movie was Adaptation.

This is one of the best movies I've come across. Quite a nice surprise, since I hadn't even heard of it until I saw it on the shelf at the movie rental place next to the Peace Corps office.

There is so much to recommend in Adaptation that it's hard to know where to begin. First you have the brilliant performances by Nick Cage, Chris Cooper and Meryl Streep. Cooper won an Oscar for his role, but it was really Cage, playing the twin screenwriting siblings, who stole the show. Not only is Cage not his normal suave self, quite the opposite actually--he must have put on 40 pounds for this role, but he creates two characters at once so similar that you believe that they are identical twins and so different that you forget it's the same actor. It's is a remarkable effort.

The movie is filled with elements that I love. The story is told in a nonlinear fashion, moving seamlessly in time and between the two stories. My favorite movies all involve flashback as the main storytelling motif. Fight Club, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Il Conformisto, Sunset Boulevard and on and on.

There there's the self-reflexivity. The movie is so self-conscious. Since this is a movie about making itself, this is natural, but it's done in a way that is both funny and clever. During the course of the movie, Kaufman is trying to come to grips with his inability to adapt "The Orchid Thief" into a screenplay. You constantly see him struggle. Yet when he has an epiphany, you are rewarded with the machinations behind something that already has or will appear on screen.

The apotheosis of this reflexivity is when Kaufman, desparately behind on his deadline, decides to write himself into the screenplay. Since we already see Kaufman as character in the movie, this is not a big surprise. Later Kaufaman laments to his brother about how self-indulgent it is. But can it be self-indulgent if the writer suffers such visible and public angst over it? I don't think so.

At the beginning of the movie, Kaufman is pitching his idea for the screenplay. He says he wants to stay true to the book and not turn it into a Hollywood movie with car chases, guns and sex, which is exactly what happens, but in such a way that you don't even notice it until you've seen the movie a few times.

Then there's Robert McKee, the screenwriting guru, who counsels Kaufman, whatever you do, don't use a deus ex machina, which, of course, is exactly what McKee is.

Then there are so many memorable lines from the movie. Here is one of my favorites:

"I have no understanding of anything outside of my own panic and seth-loathing and pathetic little existence"

This is a gem of film. Do yourself a favor and go out and rent if you haven't seen it.

Posted by andrew at 06:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I find this to be incredible, yet I'm writing about having my phone line installed. I have a phone. I now have my own phone in my own house in Samoa. And, I'm online. It seems unreal.

I only applied a few days ago. It was at the beginning of the week. Since I've heard nothing but stories about the inefficiency of SamoaTel and the lack of available lines, I thought it would take forever, yet this afternoon, a SamoTel van showed up at my house. Within 45 minutes, my phone was installed and I was on the Internet. It's fucking incredible.

My number is 29243. If you're calling from the US, the number should be 011 685 29243. 011 is the international dialing code. 685 is the country code for Samoa.

Give me a ring. It would be great to hear from you.

Posted by andrew at 05:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Last night it was pizza time again (I'm guess I'm becoming obsessed). But this time, there were a few minor differences.

One, I lost the recipe, so I had to fudge it a little. Then I moved venues and baked the pizze in the awesome industrial oven at the hostel where a few of the volunteer live. I didn't have mozzarella, so I used aged cheddar. Last, I changed toppings to onions, garlic, green peppers and sausage.

I also had a round "pizza" tin so I could make the dough round. Damn, it really was looked and tasted fucking delicious.

I hope this one meets with approval of a few of the skeptics out there.

Posted by andrew at 02:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

After a crazy week of research and writing I finished and sent off the grant proposal for the Apolima ICT Telecenter. Money from the grant will be used to set up something like a cybercafe in the village of Apolima on the west end of Upolu. Computers, a photocopier, and printer and digital imaging tools will be added to the existing telecenter run by the Women's Commitee.

It's a very cool roject. If it gets funded, I'll have lots of work to do, acquiring, installing and then training. It's going to be a challenge to get everything done out in this remote village, but it should be fun as well.

The grant was sent off to an operation known as the Global Knoledge Partnership out of Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia. The organization is dedicated to improving information communication technology access for rural women. This project should be right up their alley. I have no idea, though, if they will fund it. I suspect that if they don't, we can find the money ($24,702) somewhere else rather easily. It's a very good idea.

Once up and running, this telecenter will be a role model for the rest of the village and Women's Committees in Samoa and should push Samoa a little further along towards its goal of information technology for every Samoan.

Posted by andrew at 07:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

While I was waiting for my boss to return from a meeting, I went out to the seawall to check out the harbor and get some wind on my face.

Out in the distance, along the horizon I could see a boat coming into port under sail, something I'd never seen before. Since a few months back, there have been sailboats in the harbor, but when they come and go, I have no idea. They just seem to appear out of nowhere like apparitions and then disappear just as fast.

So on this perfect day, with cornflower blue skies and puffy white clouds, I was watching the sailboat ease into the harbor, sails luffing gently as the boat turned into the wind to slow down and make anchor.

Posted by andrew at 06:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Last night I returned to my house to find a letter stuck in the door (this, incidentally, is how I receive all my bills in Samoa). I opened the letter and read the following note from the Ministry of Works, Transport, & Infrasctructure (Asset Management Building):

24th June 2003

To: All Tenants
Government Residences

Ref: Removal of all Dogs

Since there are numerous accidents happened (sic) in the Government Compounds/premises which caused severe injuries to other tenants, contract workers and visitors; we therefore enforce the Removal of all Dogs from government compounds immediately. This enforcement of Government Housing Policy is illuminated/clarified in the TENANCY AGREEMENT PART B (10) which states:

The tenant shall not at any time during the tenancy create,
permit or bring onto the premises any matter of an
offensive or dangerous nature or of such weight as is likely
to cause damage or nuisance to the premises and shall not
carry on any activity which disturbs others or causes excessive noise,
smell or other offensive activities:

Your spontaneous action and concern in this matter is highly appreciated.

Faafetai

Tololima Leifi Auva'a
For: Director/Asset Management Building

So much for my plans of building a methlab in my carport storage room.

Of course, chances are, depite Mr Auva'a colorful and unique use of the English language, this letter will be completely ignored.

Posted by andrew at 11:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

The War on Spam has officially begun.

I'm not talking about the pink meaty stuff, though someone probably should do battle with the people at Hormel. I' talking about the tons of asinine emails that fill up your email box everyday. If Bill Gates has his way, and he usually does, Spam will be a thing of the past.

In a letter on the Microsoft website, Gates details the scourge of spam, claiming it's ridiculous that he should receive emails offering get rich quick schemes or plans to get out of debt. Of course, it's also funny as shit (if you want to see exactly how funny, look at the Bill Gates Wealth Clock.

The plan is to "Stopping Spam At the Source" and "Bringing Spammers into the Sunshine" by instituting a system of email verification. Microsoft is also creating new anti-spam technologies, working to prevent spammers from creating fraudulent accounts, and working with US legislators seeking to strengthen the ability of Internet Service Providers (ISPs) to sue spammers on behalf of their customers.

God knows if any of this will work. Spammers have proven to be a clever lot.

Posted by andrew at 11:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I rented 8 Women (called 8 femmes, in French) last night. There was nothing particulary special about this flick, other than that the entire cast was female. Well, except for the small role of Marcel, who had no lines and was seen only from the back. It's so rare for a movie to have even one decent role for a female, and this movie had so many. Very refreshing.

The movie was essentially Clue. 8 people trapped in a house with a dead body. Everyone has a motive. Everyone has the means. Everyone has an opporunity. Very cliche.

8 Women is also a musical, which, as I genre, I sometimes find hard to palette. I don't mind the music. In fact, I generally enjoy it. What bothers me is that we're supposed to be following the dramatic plot, then not wonder at all about the characters breaking into choreographed dance and song numbers. I don't know about your town, but other than the Castro and maybe a few other places around the world, this is not a regular occurance. I find I can't suspend my disbelief.

The reason I rented 8 Women is that I'll watch just about anything with Emmanuelle Beart, the sexiest woman on film (pictured above).

Posted by andrew at 04:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Yesterday I was riding my bike home just before sunset. As I was passing by Aggie Grey's Hotel on Beach Road, a tourist couple was trying to cross the street. I made eye contact with them. They saw me. Initially they both stopped, so I sped up.

Then they guy stepped out in the road right in front of me. I swerved to avoid him, crossing into the line of oncoming traffic and almost had a head on collision with a taxi.

I recovered just in time to swerve back into my lane. Then I heard the woman say in her pompous antipodean accent, "It is a pedestrian crossing", as if it that excuses her husband.

That was one of the stupidest things I've heard in my life. Since when does the existence of white painted lines on the road excuse pedestrians from taking caution when crossing the street? You can't cross the street any old time you want, not taking into account the ability of oncoming traffic to stop, simply because there is a cross walk. I wanted to turn around and the slap the fucking shit out of her. Good thing for I'm a gentleman.

It's bad enough that I have to avoid pigs, chickens, little Samoan boys and vicious dogs, but stupid tourists as well? Come on, people.

Posted by andrew at 10:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Last night, I did something I've been wanting to do for ages: cook a pizza from sratch.

I did it courtesy of my old roommate Peter from Atlanta. Peter was a great cook, always messing around the kitchen and producing incredible stuff. A few months back, he sent me his pizza recipe, which incidentally is from the Moosewood Cookbook, and I finally got off my lazy ass and did some cooking last night. (Now that I have all the implements of war: cheese grater, can opener, measuring cups, it was really easy).

I picked up some yeast and a block of mozzarella from Chan Mow Supermarket downtown. The rest of the ingredients, I already had. For sauce, I used a can of Hunt's which was a little runny. I need to augment it with some tomato paste next time.

Making the dough was a mess. There was flour all over the place. But all fun things are messy. I went to watch Minority Report while I let the dough rise for an hour.

Spreading the crust out was something of pain without a rolling pin. I tried to toss it a few times, but I was afraid of it landing on my less than clean floor. What a disaster that would have been.

I couldn't make the crust round, which is no big deal. I just spread it aorund the square surface of the cooking sheet. I laid down the sauce, the cheese, the corn and the onions, popped into the oven at 450 for 20 minutes and volia!

The pizza turned out delicious. The recipe calls for honey, which I didn't have, but I substituted brown sugar. With my topping of corn and carmelized onions, it was sweet, but oh, so good.

This endeavor was relatively cheap. I used 3/5's of a block of mozzarella (6 tala), half a can of corn (1.50), half a can of sauce (2.75). The yeast ran 8 bucks, but I should be able to use that for another few months. I already had flour, onions, salt, and sugar. The whole shebang ran about 10-15 tala, which isn't too bad considering what they charge in the local pizzerias. Now, if I can just find some goat cheese, I'll be in serious business.

(from the original Moosewood Cookbook via Peter Haarsgaard)

Ingredients:
1 cup room temperature water
1 1/2 tsp active dry yeast
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tbs honey or sugar (go with the honey - my addition)
2 1/2 to 3 cups flour
olive oil

1) Place water in medium sized bowl. Sprinkle in the yeast and stir in the honey until everything dissolves. (Let sit 5 minutes for the yeast to do its work)

2) Use a whisk to stir in salt and flour. When it gets too thick to whisk, mix with one floured hand. Knead in the bowl for anout 5 minutes (10-20 minutes is more like it if you want the best results. Also 3 cups of flour ain't going to cut it unless you want the stickiest dough on the planet. Just keep adding flour until the dough feels like more like dough and less like paste)

3) Brush a little olive oil on the dough. Cover the bowl and let rise in warm place until double in bulk. About 1 hour.

4) Punch it down and flatten by hand or roller into a nice pizza crust (I like to put a little olive oil around the edge and let it ooze around the perimeter of the pizza. This ensures two things. One, that the pizza will have a nice crispy crust. Two, you can remove the pizza from the pan without a hammer and chisel)

5) Bake at 450 F for 15-20 minutes (Presumably, you'd put the toppings on before you slapped the thing in the oven, but the people at Moosewood don't specify, so it's up to you. I'm the sort of guy who likes my cheese melted, so I prefer toppings on before cooking. The time is really a guideline. I look for a browning/bubbling of the chesse, then yank the pizza out of the oven, let it cool for a few minutes and slice away.)

Posted by andrew at 06:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

I know you've always wanted one, now you can buy a Segway direct from Amazon (not that Amazon needs a plug from me or anyone else). It's the perfect transportation solution for the geek on the move.

Last month I wrote (jokingly) about the Segway as the ideal mode of transportation for poor Peace Corps volunteers stranded in distant lands with no automobiles. As if riding around with bike helmets isn't enough of a stigma, you can just image hordes of PCVs crusing around town on their high tech, slow moving scooters. What a perfect way to blend into the culture.

Now you can order them from Amazon who will even provide training after they deliver your scooter (in four weeks).

All this for less than 5 grand. What a steal!

Amazon.com Review
The Segway Human Transporter (HT) is a truly 21st-century idea. A two-wheeled electric vehicle that's practical, efficient, slightly miraculous, and an undeniably fun way of getting around, it's as different from a bicycle or motorcycle as...

Balance Sensor Assembly (BSA)
The BSA, supplied by Silicon Sensing Systems, is an elegantly designed, extremely robust, and yet incredibly sensitive piece of equipment.
This small cube, 3 inches on a side, is packed with five solid-state, vibrating-ring, angular-rate sensors ("gyroscopes") that use the Coriolis effect to measure rotation speed. These tiny rings are electromechanically vibrated in such a way that when they are rotated, a small force is generated that can be detected in the internal electronics of the sensor. Each "gyro" is placed at a unique angle that allows it to measure multiple directions. Segway's onboard computers constantly compare the data from all five gyros to determine if any of the five is supplying faulty data--in this condition, it can compensate and use data from the remaining sensors to continue balancing through a controlled safety shutdown. Two tilt sensors filled with an electrolyte fluid provide a gravity reference in the same way your inner ear does for your own sense of balance. The BSA is monitored by two independent microprocessors and is split into two independent halves for redundancy. Even the communication between sides is performed optically to avoid electrical faults on one side propagating to the other.


Motor
The Segway HT's motors are unique in a number of respects. Produced by Pacific Scientific, a division of Danaher, they are the highest-power motors for their size and weight ever put into mass production. Each motor is capable of maintaining a power output of 1.5 kilowatts--that's 2 horsepower!
The motors use brushless servo technology, meaning there are no contacts to wear, arc, and reduce performance. The magnets are constructed of an incredibly powerful rare-earth material: neodymium-iron-boron. Each motor is constructed with two independent sets of windings, each driven by a separate board and motor. Under normal conditions, both sets of windings work in parallel, sharing the load. In the event of a failure, the motor is designed to instantly disable the faulty side and use the remaining winding to maintain control of the Segway HT until it can be brought to a stop. The motor is carefully balanced to operate up to 8,000 rpm, allowing it to produce very high power levels in a small package. Feedback from the motor back to the Segway HT is provided by redundant, noncontact analog hall sensors that sense the positions of magnets with no moving parts other than the motor shaft itself.

Gearbox
The Segway HT's gearbox, a joint effort between Axicon Technologies and Segway, is constructed more like a precision Swiss watch than a traditional gear drive from an automobile. A two-stage reduction system provides a 24:1 reduction, allowing the motor to operate at powerful, efficient speeds throughout the full range of speeds of the Segway HT. Each gear is cut to a helical profile, which creates a spiral engagement to minimize noise and increase the load capability of the gears. The number of teeth on each gear is chosen to produce noninteger gear ratios. This means that the teeth will mesh in a different location each revolution, maximizing the life of the gearbox. Our engineers were so obsessed with the details on the Segway HT that they designed the meshes in the gearbox to produce sound exactly two musical octaves apart--when the Segway HT moves, it makes music, not noise.
The gearbox is pre-assembled and lubricated, and is designed to require no maintenance over the life of the Segway HT. It has been tested for thousands of miles under severe conditions.


Wheel and Tire
Michelin was one of the earliest partners in the Segway HT design project. The tires on the Segway HT have been designed specifically for this product, using a unique tread compound (a silica-based compound instead of traditional carbon-based materials), giving enhanced traction and minimized marking on indoor floors, and a specially engineered tubeless construction that allows low pressure for comfort and traction while minimizing rolling resistance for long range.
The tire is mounted on an equally unique wheel design: the wheel is constructed of a sophisticated engineering-grade thermoplastic chosen in partnership with GE Plastics. This composite material allows light weight and excellent durability, and actually reduces noise transmitted from the drive system. The wheel is molded around a forged steel hub, eliminating fasteners that can loosen over time. The attachment between this hub and the transmissions incorporates a unique (patent pending) taper and hex design, which allows a single nut to attach or remove the wheel while retaining the security of multiple-bolt systems more typically seen in conventional applications.

Batteries
The Segway HT uses twin NiMH battery packs, designed in partnership with SAFT (a division of Alcatel), running at a nominal 72 volts. These nickel-metal hydride cells deliver the highest power of any currently available chemistry, optimized to maintain the Segway HT's balance under severe conditions. These are not your cell phone batteries!
Each pack consists of an array of high-capacity cells and a custom-designed circuit board that constantly monitors the temperature and voltage of the pack in multiple locations. This assembly is enclosed in another unique application of GE thermoplastics--the battery box is sealed using a vibration welding technique that makes the outside of the pack a single, continuous structure--sealed from moisture and strong enough to survive the most extreme tests our durability engineers could throw at it.
The internal electronics in the battery incorporate "smart" charging--the customer need only plug the Segway HT into the wall and the battery will choose the appropriate charge rate based on temperature, voltage, and level of charge. The batteries will quick charge, then automatically transition into a balance and maintenance charge mode. The Segway HT customer does not need to worry about memory or timing their charges--just plug it in.
Under normal operation, the Segway HT carefully monitors both batteries and automatically adjusts to drain the batteries evenly. In the unlikely event of a battery failure, the system is designed to use the second battery to operate the machine and allow it to continue balancing until it is brought to a safe stop.


Controller Boards
Two sophisticated controller boards from Delphi Electronics provide both brains and brawn for the system. Delphi Electronics was chosen as a partner based on their track record in the production of high-volume, high-quality automotive electronics for such demanding applications as airbag modules.
Each board contains a Texas Instruments digital signal processor, monitoring the entire Segway HT system and checking 100 times per second for any faults or conditions that might require immediate response. It reads the information from the BSA to determine if the rider is leaning forward or backward, and instantly uses this information to deliver power from the batteries to the motors through a set of 12 high-power, high-voltage field-effect transistors (FETs). These calculations take place 100 times a second, and the motors are adjusted at up to 1,000 times per second, responding far more quickly than the human body is capable of perceiving. Although each board is capable of operating the Segway HT after a failure (each board, in fact, powers electrical circuits on both motors), under normal conditions they share the load.

---

Inventors' Note
The dictionary defines segue as "a smooth transition from one place or idea to another." While the Segway HT represents a smooth transition from one physical place to another, we chose the name Segway for our company because we believe the Segway HT also represents an important transition to a new idea: an energy efficient, environmentally friendly, productivity enhancing, and fun alternative for short distance travel.

Segway enthusiasts who choose to purchase the first Segway Human Transporters through this program will have the world watching them. Hopefully, you will represent Segway with the same passion and vision we had in bringing the idea to reality. Why such great expectations? Because we believe that when you are among the first to purchase and embrace new technology, you personify the spirit that allows inventions to become innovations, and that spirit can change the world.

So, welcome to Segway, and enjoy the ride!

Thanks, Dean Kamen and the team at Segway

Posted by andrew at 05:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Got nothing to do? Check out the "The Oracle of Starbucks" at http://www.buttafly.com/starbucks/index.php.

I don't think the oracle ever has anything good to say. It seems to suggests that if you frequent Starbucks, you're either, lame, clueless or an asshat, whatever that it is.

Here is the wisdom from the Oracle if your drink of choice is a venti latte

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Ass-clown

You tell people that you're an executive at your company. You think that your repeated references to being "addicted" to caffeine make you seem intriguing and dangerous. People think you're a sucker because you spend 60% of your annual income at Starbucks. Everyone who drinks latte venti ends up addicted to crack.

Also drinks: Zima
Can also be found at: Karaoke bars

Posted by andrew at 05:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

My life is about to take a serious change for the better. I know this because I went down to SamoaTel this afternoon to apply for a phone line. I'm about to get hooked up and dialed in.

Now, saying that, SamoaTel doesn't have the best reputation for providing speedy service, and customers have waited months for lines to be installed.

After I filled out the application, I said to the woman who was helping me, so someone will be out tomorrow to put the line in, right? She just laughed at me. She said I should stop by the office next week to check up on the status of my application. It shouldn't take too long in my case because there's already a jack in the house. They just need to get someone up to my house to reconnect the line.

With my luck, I'll have a phone in place and then a house will open up closer to town and I'll move.

Posted by andrew at 06:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (1)

Last night I riding home in a taxi at about 10:30, the windows were and I was freezing my ass off.

I got home, out on my flannel pj's and got into bed. I had a few lavalavas for sheets and a blank from Air New Zealand and I was still so, so cold. I went for my fleece.

I brought my fleece to wear skiing in New Zealand. I never thought I would need it in Samoa. Damn it felt good. When I finally warmed up enough I slept like a baby.

Posted by andrew at 11:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

American Idle has been around for a few months, so it's time for a facelift. It's incredible how much work goes into making even the smallest change. This is mostly because I still have two sites that are merged into one, the original site that I built when I was in training at the end of the last year, and the Movable Type blog the I started a few months back.

I been working lately on moving them closer to one site, but before I finished, I decided I needed a fresh look and have given myself tons of work to make everything look consistent. At least I don't have a real job to get in the way of my computer time or anything.

Posted by andrew at 10:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I've been screwing around with Beatnik all day. It's kinda of fun. Downloading the plugin is a bit of a pain in the ass, but the end result is more than worth it. Beatnik are the only people delivering high quality sound without an insane download.

I wish I brought my Beatnik software with me so I could make my own .rmf files for the background music instead of relying on what's already out on the web. I might just kill it anyway if the music becomes too much of a distraction. I'll just stick with the mouse over sounds in the nav.

Check out Beatnik at beatnik.com

Posted by andrew at 09:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Not cow shit, but I woke this morning to an absolutely horrid smell emanating from my kitchen. Some time in the night or the early morning a rat died in the walls of my kitchen. It smells like, well, it smells like something died. It is putird and nasty and there's nothing I can do about it but wait until the ants dismantle the fucking thing and take it back to wherever it is they go.

When I was cooking lunch (shark curry), I was almost overcome with nausea and couldn't stay in the kitchen for more than a few minutes before the urge to throw up was so overwhelming that I had step out into my room.

At least the smell isn't so profuse (yet) that I can smell it from my bedroom. But who knows, after a day of cooking in the hot Samoan sun, the dead rat carcas smell might infect my whole place. Lucky me.

Posted by andrew at 04:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

The day was beautiful. The game was a disappointment. Ireland shut Manu Samoa totally and completely.

Samoa was only down 9-7 at halftime, they were even up 7-6 at one point after scoring the first try of the game, but the fight went out of them in the second half and they fell to the Irish 40-14.

Ireland played a really defensive game, kicking the ball away at every opportunity and essentially neutralized Manu's speed advantage.

However, it was really about the atmosphere. There was a packed SRO house at Apia Park despite the heat. The crowd was rowdy and everyone seemed to have a good time. The police pulled some drunk guy out of the crowd and he almost lost his lavalava which people thought was the funniest thing ever.

It's too bad this is the only game this year. I guess that's why the Peace Corps gives us two years.

Posted by andrew at 07:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Tonight I got dragged to the hotel where the Manu Samoa rugby team is staying. It was a serious pain in the ass, but I'm sure the girls will be jealous.

Earlier in the day, I was at the library and I ran into my host cousin, Tavau. He's one of the physiotherapists for the team and he wanted me to come down to the hotel with him and take a few pics of him with the players.

I did it sort of relucantly, and I felt like an ass standing around the hotel waiting for the these guys to finish dinner or whatever the fuck they were doing so that Tavau could stand with them and have his snapshot taken with these gargantuan men.

There were a couple of players around with wicked tattoos and I got decent shots of them although the lighting was a bit unforgiving in the corridors of the hotel. It sort of made standing around there for an over hour worth it.

The first guy, Mark Luafalealo, who is out injured, had was looked like a Samoan Va'a tattoo on the inside of his forearm, but as the tat moved around the back, it merged into these geometric shapes of green and red. It's very modern take on the traditional tattoo. It was probably done in New Zealand because I've never seen anything like it here.

The next guy, Lome Fa'atau, the dude with the serious abs, had a full Pe'a. This tattoo starts from just above the knees and continues up to where you see it on his midsection covering everything in between. Early European explorers who viewed Samoans from the safety of their boats thought the natives were wearing "smart" britches. It wasn't until the braved a landing and went onshore that they realized that men were covered in tattoos.

It's a serious test of courage to get a full Pe'a and not everyone is up to it, even in Samoa where tolerances for pain are off the scale.

The game against Ireland is tomorrow at 3:30. It's going to be one of the biggest sporting events of the year in Samoa. Ireland is a tough team. They play in the 6-Nations against top competition in Europe. It should be an incredible experience.

Because of the World up later this year in Australia, this will be only game Manu Samoa will play at home this year. Usually they at least play Fiji and Tonga, but I'll have to wait until next year to catch those teams in action.

Posted by andrew at 10:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm waiting to pick up my new ATM card here at the ANZ bank (A-N-ZED) in Apia. They've had this Dell computer set up here to promote their new online banking services. The promotion is over, but the computer is still in the branch. When I sat down the PC was off. I switched it on, it started up, there was no password. I'm online inside the bank, checking my email, updating my blog. Incredible, huh?

I'm number E853. There should be a teller open in the next few minutes. In fact, I'm next. Gotta go. Fa.

Posted by andrew at 03:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Hey, you! Yes, you.

If you're reading this site, please post on a comment on this entry (or any entry that you find interesting).

See that link right below here that says, "post a comment"? Just click on it and write something. Write anything. I don't care what you write. I don't care if I know you. Just write something to let me know that you came to the site. It would mean a lot to me. Thanks, Andrew

Posted by andrew at 03:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

there's a huge green freighter in port today that I've never seen before called the MV Polynesia out of Hamburg, Germany.

I find all the details about the boat from freighterworld.com:

Tom Wörden has introduced the vessel the MV Polynesia to join the Tausala Samoa on her 28 day run between Los Angeles, Tahiti, and the Samoas. Built in 1996 in Stralsund, Germany, the mv Polynesia is 14,665 DWT, about 515 feet in length (157.12 m), and about 77 feet wide (23.5 m).

The mv Polynesia offers 2 lovely double suites that contain 2 twin beds each, for couples or traveling companions. Singles may book as sole occupants of the double cabins. The Tausala Samoa is better suited to carry single passengers because she has only 1 bed (2" narrower than a double bed) in each cabin. Joycene visited the Polynesia and reports that she is a lovely ship and that passengers should enjoy their cabins and public areas.

What I don't understand is why these boats are so damn expensive. For a 28-30 day journey for two, you're going to pay about 7 grand. Now, I love traveling by boat. And I have no desire to take a cruise and have the same vacation as 1500 other people. So the mere fact that there are only a handful of cabins on board is appealing. Plus you can hang with the captain and crew and get a really good feel for life at sea. But 7 grand is damn steep. That's more than 2 years salary for a Peace Corps volunteer in Samoa. Something about this economy is way out of whack. Either this boat costs way too much, or I'm getting paid way too little.

Posted by andrew at 05:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Overheard at the Peace Corps office: "There's like 40 of them, and they're gorgeous." The Ireland rugby team is in town to play Samoa and a few of the rugby-mad Peace Corps girls are going crazy. The Ireland players are staying at Aggie Grey's, the top (and most expensive) hotel in town. The girls are talking about going down there for dinner. "The food's not that good, but I don't give a crap."

Posted by andrew at 04:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

This is just too funny not to share.

Posted by andrew at 04:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Here's an example of how much time I have on my hands. Last night I won my 1000th Freecell game. You can congratulate me later.

This isn't the 1000th game since I bought this computer. Nor is it the 1000th game since I arrived in Samoa. It's the 1000th game since I upgraded my operating system to Windows 2000 on April 13th of this year.

Why do I like Freecell so much? I don't know exactly. But it is incredibly addictive. I can sit and play and and lose myself for hours.

I think some of the appeal might be the game's nature of creating order out of chaos. Or it could be that it's one of the few things in my life that I'm actually good at.

Posted by andrew at 12:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

There's a warship in port today. It's the Canadian "multi-role patrol" frigate, HMCS Regina on route back to Canada from the service in the Gulf.

The ship is something like 134 meters long, weighing more than 4000 tons and with a crew of over 200. I looked for guns or anything of an offensive nature, but I couldn't see anything from shore.

This all begs the questions, who knew Canada had a navy?

Posted by andrew at 05:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

If you can beleive this shit, there's a fantasy exchange for trading "shares" of blogs. Someone set up a website called Blogshares where you can buy and sell virtual shares of blogs. Why you want to do this, I'm not sure. It's just one more way to stroke the ego of the people in the subculture who publish their lives online

Shares of American Idle are hard to come by at the moment. There are 5000 outstanding shares of which less than 160 are in open float. It's very closely held. If you want to get in on it, you're going to have to hurry.

I'm about to register and buy up what I can. I should own the damn thing, right?

Posted by andrew at 02:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

It's all done in JavaScript. If you want the code, it's posted below.

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