Last night I returned to my house to find a letter stuck in the door (this, incidentally, is how I receive all my bills in Samoa). I opened the letter and read the following note from the Ministry of Works, Transport, & Infrasctructure (Asset Management Building):

24th June 2003

To: All Tenants
Government Residences

Ref: Removal of all Dogs

Since there are numerous accidents happened (sic) in the Government Compounds/premises which caused severe injuries to other tenants, contract workers and visitors; we therefore enforce the Removal of all Dogs from government compounds immediately. This enforcement of Government Housing Policy is illuminated/clarified in the TENANCY AGREEMENT PART B (10) which states:

The tenant shall not at any time during the tenancy create,
permit or bring onto the premises any matter of an
offensive or dangerous nature or of such weight as is likely
to cause damage or nuisance to the premises and shall not
carry on any activity which disturbs others or causes excessive noise,
smell or other offensive activities:

Your spontaneous action and concern in this matter is highly appreciated.

Faafetai

Tololima Leifi Auva'a
For: Director/Asset Management Building

So much for my plans of building a methlab in my carport storage room.

Of course, chances are, depite Mr Auva'a colorful and unique use of the English language, this letter will be completely ignored.