Ok, so I wasn't chewing on foil, but I was licking it and I managed to do something I've never done before in my 33 years. I cut my lip of the edge of the foil. And it fucking hurt like hell.

Josh and I were walking down Lexington Avenue on the Upper East Side. We had just sat down at one of the many swanky, insanely overpriced cafes, where I had a bagel. It wasn't enough. I was really craving bagels for some reason, so we walked to a deli/grocer that had pumpernickel and got one (toasted with cream cheese, in case you were wondering.)

We weren't in a rush or anything, but I ate as we walked in the direction of the Met. The bagel was so loaded with cream cheese that when I was done, the foil that the bagel came wrapped in was covered in. So, like a good boy, I licked it clean. Except I cut my fucking lip so I'm never going to do that that. Fortunately it didn't bleed for too long, but it's really annoying, right near the corner of my upper lip. I'm a complete idiot.