Last night when we were carving our over-priced pumpkin, Jennifer noticed that the screen door was open and my cats were nowhere to be found. I didn't freak out. Each of them has gotten out a few times since I moved to Walnut Creek, and we always recovered them without too much trouble. But never have they both escaped at the time nor this close to nightfall.

I went out to search armed with a little plastic jar of cat treats, but I couldn't find them. Anywhere. I looked around for about half an hour. Shook the treats. Whistled. But they were nowhere to be found.

I went back to the house, finished carving the pumpkin, watched some TV and went out looking during the commercials. But all I managed to scare up was some of the local cats who were charmed by the jingling of the cat treats.

Just after it got dark, I went out again and saw Mak walking towards me down the road. I went towards him, but like a little shithead, he bolted into the bushes. I coaxed him out with treats, but when I finally grabbed him there was a car coming down the road and people walking towards us on the sidewalk and Mak, who is a nervous cat at the best of times, freaked. I managed to hold onto him, but he tore into me, carving up my arms and my hands with his talons. What did I ever do to him other than keep under house arrest for 6 months?

Once I had Mak under control, I saw Fil, grabbed her and spirited them off to the apartment with Mak simpering all the way. The little shits are now safe and secure, thankfully.